Longfully Accused

June was a month filled with random holidays that extends to the weekends. Hence the term LONG WEEKENDS.
Now for others, this might sound like a good excuse to plan a family vacation, go out on a date, etc.
But not me, because I'm always all alone.
Such is the life of a lonely but handsome artist such as myself.
But enough talk, have at you!
This was how we productively we spent our long weekends.
Extended periods of sleep and snacking portions not included.

First on our to-watch list is the movie, FRIDA.
Which apparently was a biopic about the bipolar artist, VINCENT VAN GOGH!
WE'RE KIDDING, of course!
Obviously, the movie was about the life and artistic challenges of the one and the only FRIDA KAHLO.
The surrealist wonder from Mexico.
As played by the ever seductive, Salma Hayek.
Directed by Julie Taymor.
Distributed by MIRAMAX and co-produced by Salma herself.
And surprisingly enough, the DVD extras does work like a charm.
Imagine that!
With actual "Behind The Scenes" content and cast interviews.
Right off the bat, the first scene was that of the last. Does that even make sense?
While on her deathbed, the movie then chronicles Frida's life as a curious teenager.
This was by far our favoritest version of Frida since she's always running around and bumping into things. And that hair is simply way too adorable to ignore.

We then get the very first conflict of the movie. And that would be the incident with the trolley.
There's nothing funny about accidents, but then again....this Jonah Hill look-alike gets me all the time.
After which, we are then treated to a stopmotion animation sequence as done by the Brothers Quay.
The entire sequence has that Nightmare Before Christmas-esque look to it. I guess that tends to happen with most stop motion claymations at the time. But then again, not like that's a bad thing, it's actually a good thing!

Speaking of good things from the movie, we also appreciated the collages and the more experimental shots like these:
Scenes like these lend its voice to the movie. The juxtaposing of paintings and live actors were very seamlessly done. Making the story even more unique and quite surreal. Very much in the vein of the artist that inspired the movie. Our personal favorite was this King Kong-esque scene.
The trolley accident would then leave a permanent scars both physically and emotionally.
As Frida tried to make sense of her everyday struggles, her problems would then be alleviated by art.
She started drawing and painting small butterflies on her cast which eventually sparked her passion for bigger artworks such as family portraits and such. She would later on gain enough paintings and courage to approach someone of notoriety to be her mentor.

We are then introduced to this sleazebag of a character named Diego Rivera (as portrayed by Alfred Molina). Yes, DOCTOR OCTOPUS himself from the second Spider-man movie.

 Diego was a famed Mexican painter that specializes in murals. Whom Frida affectionately refers to as Panzon. A sort of derogatory Spanish word for describing a fat or overweight peson.
He starts off as charming
but eventually becomes this totally disgraceful sex fiend
that has loyalty issues and would pretty much will fuck everyone even Frida's sister.
Whom was portrayed by Mia Maestro and really was quite the cutie to begin with.
During Frida's mentorship, Diego would later on introduce Frida to his art friends/circle. Bringing her to small gatherings then eventually asking her hand for marriage. But for Diego not having the cleanest track record to begin with. Marital issues started to surface. Marriage did not curb his appetite for the flesh and Diego would still go about with his unfaithful ways. Fucking around with every single one of his nude models. A habit that was made quite apparent as early as the first few moments of the movie. Diego's infidelity would later on push Frida spiraling down the same path as him.
She would later on engage in subtle foreplays at a cafe,
 hot lesbian sex with an unnamed cabaret performer (whom we could only assume was based off Josephine Baker but then again, we could be wrong!) in Paris,
 and his more intimate moments with Leon Trotsky (as portrayed by Geoffrey Rush).
Yes Captain Barbossa himself!

So obviously, the casting choices for this movie was pretty wild at best. All of these Hollywood A-listers playing either support or minor roles. Other than the above mentioned, Antonio Banderas plays an even smaller role as David Alfaro Siqueiros.
Seriously, I couldn't believe this wasn't entitled Desperado 2 instead.
But then again, it lacks one very important ingredients. An ingredient that goes by the name of DANNY TREJO! And maybe a dash of CHEECH MARIN.

And last but not the least, Edward Norton's as Nelson Rockafeller.
Hey, It's the Incredible Hulk from the non-Ang Lee version of things.

The same Rockafeller that commissioned Diego Rivera to paint a mural in the lobby of the famous Rockafeller Center. This said mural would be then torn down due to its deeply communist imagery /ideologies.

Speaking of communist roots, Frida would later then be questioned and imprisoned for the death of Trotsky in Mexico.
And would later on be released with the help of non other than a semi-reformed Diego Rivera.

The pair would part ways and eventually get back together again before Frida could even stage her very first solo exhibition. Frida's condition worsens and was strongly advised to avoid attending the said gathering. Not wanting to miss out on her big event, she arrived in a very grandiose fashion while still adhering to her doctor's advises.
And that's pretty much it for this movie.

Final Verdict: Drama, comedy and even nudity is quite plentiful. So ditch both Mr. Skins and the usual pornos with a somewhat ok plot / storyline. Pop this one in and get educated while getting slightly aroused.
And believe it or not, this was actually our very first introduction to Frida Kahlo.
I mean sure, she's known in the art world as "THAT UNIBROWED ART LADY" but I guess this movie sets the proper tone and does introduce the artist in a very appropriate hodge-podge fashion.
We highly recommend this movie for certified art buffs, and those that could enjoy Maalaala Mo Kaya / Magpakailaman biopics.

We then move on to

2. Hotel Transylvania.
That name alone should ALREADY be reason enough for you to watch this movie.
My second reason would be the "Bleh-bleh-bleh" reference that most of my students are spewing most of the time (most especially during November!). I might have missed out on the whole Frozen "Let It Go" thing. But I'm definitely NOT ignoring this Tartakovysky-ly directed movie. This would be the closest thing we could ever get to seeing an animated 3D movie from this guy now that the Popeye movie had been cancelled entirely.

Frikk'n frakk'n EMOJI movie!
I've actually watched this movie in parts.
The first half was with a DVD player while the second half was on the computer.
The darn disc just wouldn't cooperate hence the segmented viewing experience.
Count Dracula himself was very much like a collage of several Adam Sandler characters rolled into one. From the  Hannukah Song singing Sandler, to his Operaman skits on SNL and ultimately his dad role in Big Daddy.

But overall, the story was quite charming and again, the best Adam Sandler movies were the ones where he plays a monster of some sort.
Remember this one?
My personal favorite movie as well!
And this has Quentin Tarantino as a blind preacher even. I felt like I needed to point that out every time I talk about Little Nicky.
But surprisingly enough, Rob Schneider doesn't make an appearance in Hotel.
I guess he "can't do it " then.

And speaking of Adam Sandler:

I think he's journeying to some Ben Stiller territory but the Terry Crews wrestling segment does looks pretty promising. So there is that:

3. And speaking of wrestling, we popped in this timeless classic. The absolute cream of the crop,
that rises to the top!
Wrestlemania 20's Triple Threat Match.
And will you look at the person on the far right, that's definitelyNOT Stevie Richards!
I couldn't load the rest of the disc so we'd have to be contented with this segment alone.
And contented with this I definitely was!
The action was intense AF!
The raw and genuine emotions were more than overflowing.
And both JR and King's commentary were both on point and only amplifies the experience despite the bad quality of the video.
And that's pretty much it.
That's our long weekend in a nutshell.
Two movies and one major sports extravaganza.
I couldn't wait to do this again so hopefully there would be more long weekends within 2017.
Despite (from a financial standpoint) earning nothing from the said time off does kinda suck but recharging and reliving your stressed out body was definitely well worth it. And you can't put a price tag on that, I guess?

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